Breakfast With Emmett
by JennRay-Cullen
Summary: It's just a one chapter story my cousin and I thought of just randomly. It's pretty funny, we think anyway but it's about the Cullens went out and Emmett is left cooking breakfast for Jake and Nessie! I hope you guys enjoy and find it as funny as we have.


**Breakfast With Emmett**

**By: JennRay & Nessa**

We do not own Twilight, We are simply screwing with the characters. 

EPOV:

"Take care of my girl." Bella whined.

"Oh Bells you know she's safe with me." I said as she handed me my beautiful little niece. "Besides, Jake is gunna be here. You know how protective that kid is." I chuckled, as Bella turned to leave with the rest of the family. They were all going on a huge shopping trip that Alice forced them to go on. Me, being the lucky one had the pleasure of baby sitting.

"Food!" Jake demanded as he snatched Nessie away from me. I groaned and turn torwards the kitchen. "I can't believe I've gotta cook." I mumbled as I took a peak into each cabinet. "Jake!" I screeched. "How do you make this horrid stuff?!"

Jake just rolled his eyes. "How am I suppose to know?"

"Your the human!" I accused.

"Sue always cooked for my dad and I." Jake rolled his eyes again.

"Stupid mutt." I murmured as I turned to the stove. I found a huge recipe book and began to flip through. I found about 30 recipes for pancakes, and like a thousand for omelets. I sighed. I decided to make everything I could in this book. I'm sure Jake could eat it all.

I turned to a cabinet and started to pull out sacks of flour, baking powder, vanilla, syrup, and two plates. I went to the fridge and pulled out butter, eggs, bacon, sausage, milk, 3 types of cheese, olives, onion, and green peppers, and it all smelled awful.

I started to chop all the ingredients. One by one all the chopped ingredients became thick. "Maybe I shouldn't have chopped so fast." I chuckled to myself.

I dug threw the bottom cabinets looking for what the book called a pan. "Ugh, I've been a vampire to long." I told myself. I finaly found what I assumed was a pan and placed it on the stove. I turned the dial and the flame lit up. "Aha, I got you now Mr. Stove." I chuckled to myself. I poured some oil into the pan and turned to the eggs. I started to crack each egg, soon finding out that eggs crack when you try to play hack-i-sack, into a bowl. I got out a fork and started stabbing each yellow middle into a thin liquid. I added some pepper and salt and went to pour the egg juice into the pan. When I turned I found the pan with smoke barreling up to the kitchen ceiling. Now in full panic mode I started spitting my venom at the flame. That just seem to make the it angier. I turned and grabbed a sack of flour and chucked it full forced into the stove, the flame stopped but I was gunna hear it for that dent. Not only that but the kitchen and myself had a thin layer of flour on every surface. Oh boy was I gunna get it.

I attempted this again. I wiped the unburnt side of the stove off and placed another pan on. This time I scrambled up the eggs and then turned on the stove. I let that cook while I scrambled some sausage on the back burner. I soon placed that on top of the egg and add some wierd smelling cheese, then flipped the side without the filling over. I placed that on a plate and grinned to myself.

"Awh, the smell of success." I said, taking a whiff of the air. It made me shiver and hold my breath. "Nasty human food."

I glided over to the potato bin and pulled out 5 potatoes. I washed them off, like instructed and began to peel. I swipped my finger a few times, thank God for vampire skin. I took out a grader and started shoving the potato up and down the grader. I started getting bored and annoyed and used more forced and the grader snapped in half. "Ugh!" I groaned and chucked the broken grader across the room, smashing a huge hole into the wall. "Crap!" I screetched and then started laughing. "Esme will get me for that one."

I pulled out another grader and took it easy this time, but using my vampire speed I was done with all 5 potatoes in less then 2 minutes. I poured some grease into a clean pan and set in on the burning stove. I flopped in the potato and added some salt and pepper. I took a spatchula and flipped it over once and then placed it on the plate. "Yeah! I should become a chef." I told myself, bobbing my head like I was agreeing with myself.

"And now for my final dish!" I shouted into the air kissing the tips of my fingers. I poured in some flour, cracked a couple eggs, literally spilled some milk in, and added a pinch of baking powder and started fiercly stirring.

"Now ladies and gents!" I chuckled to myself. "Emmett's fabulous pancakes!" I screamed as I poured the dough into the pan. I listened to the sizzles and pops and imagened them as the crowed applauding! "Thank you!" I said, bowing. I took the pan in my hand, "Now for my tripple flip!" I took the pan and flipped the pancake into the air and watched it flip 3 times and crash into the ceiling, making a huge hole and sticking. I chuckled and poured in the ingrdients to another cake. I did the same but this time the pancake shot threw the window behind me. "Ouch!" I said, cringing like it was really hurting me. I did a couple more, some landing back safely in the pan and some flying threw the walls and windows. By the time I was done I had 16 pancakes stacked with butter on top and syrup dibbled down the sides. I placed the plates on the table and went to retreive Jake.

"Jake!" I called, running to the living room! He wasn't there. "Jake, your food is gunna get cold." Just then I heard the living room door open and Jake appeared with Nessie in his arms. "Jake, where have you been!"

"I took Nessie home and had Sue make us some food." Jake replied while walking into the living room and sitting down.

"What!" I boomed

"Hey man, you were taking to long."

"I don't care! I slaved over the stove for hours!"

Jake chuckled. "You sound like a house wife, especially with that pink apron on."

I looked down and tore the apron from my hips, and then flashed a deathly glare at Jake. I was going to respond with a very Emmett like responce when I heard the door creak open. I bolted for the door and scoop up Rose in my arms.

"Rosie I..."

"EMMETT!!!!!" Esme screamed.

"Awh man! I'm in trouble!" I chuckled.


End file.
